Sad true feelings we all have

I am torn by insecurity. I will be out of a job in 4 weeks and I am too proud to even tell anyone or should I say beg anyone for a job. I am not a paper pusher or it would be easy to click and apply to random low paying jobs. Once you reach a certain echelon in your career you don’t just take any ol job. I wonder if that’s what the bums on the street thought too and eventually they woke up one day with nothing because they were too proud.
It reminds me of the preachers at church speaking about the evilness of pride. And here I am holding so much of it. But I haven’t been to church in years, maybe I should I go back. Or at least that’s what one guy on here thinks. (you know who you are)
It’s frustrating and scary to be in a place of need, not want but need. I need to get a new job I need to make a certain amount of money. But I want to continue in the creative field I am in. I think to the rest of the world, people in entertainment are a joke. We don’t have real jobs, we play and you know what…a lot that is true. But we struggle too, to keep our jobs, to get better ones, we swim with the sharks and the guppies who surpass us. For example, this girl in my office who has been in my business a fraction of the time I have, just became my boss last week and she’s 5 years my junior. That’s the breaks in this business, it’s not all fucking your assistant and having drinks with Bruckheimer. It’s a mind fuck a lot of the times. It can break your spirit quickly. I feel many days like this one, that it is breaking my spririt.
Feel free to comment.